The Colorado Rockies are bringing their dreadful 25-48 road record to Yankee Stadium this Thursday at 7:05 PM EDT, presumably because the schedule maker refuses to let them stay in the safety of Mile High air. In a hilarious twist of baseball physics, the Rockies actually boast a higher team batting average than the Bronx Bombers at .253 to .234, though that stat feels a bit like bragging about having the best sound system in a car that is currently rolling down a cliff. With Willi Castro and Kyle Freeland parked on the injured list, Colorado’s chances of surviving this regular season trip to New York feel about as sturdy as a wet paper towel. You can watch the survival attempt live on MLB.TV or Rockies.TV, assuming you enjoy watching nature documentaries where the gazelle doesn't make it.
To really hammer home the mismatch, Colorado is feeding right-hander Ryan Feltner and his bloated 5.91 ERA to a Yankee lineup that is probably already licking its chops. He will be trading throws with Max Fried, who has been treating base runners like uninvited house guests with his microscopic 0.99 WHIP and stellar 2.73 ERA. It is a duel that perfectly highlights the chasm between Colorado’s league-worst 5.46 team ERA and New York’s tidy 3.22 mark, which explains why DraftKings has the Yankees installed as massive -354 favorites with a game total of 8.5. Head over to StreakChat to lock in your pick and tell us if you think the Rockies can pull off a miracle in the Bronx.