Citizens Bank Park at 6:40 p.m. looks like a heavyweight bout between two guys who left their gloves in the Uber—both clubs staggering in 6-6 with batting averages that read like typos (.223 ARI, .220 PHI) and ERAs that still think it's March. Michael Soroka, Atlanta refugee turned Arizona unicorn, brings a 0.90 ERA and 13 whiffs to the hill, while Jesús Luzardo counters with a 4.97 and the desperate hope that the 11 Philly homers bail him out before the cheesesteak line starts chanting.
Corbin Carroll might pinch-run on one good hamstring, but with Pavin Smith and half the D-backs lounging on IL, the desert bench looks like Spirit Airlines middle-seat legroom—tight and vaguely insulting. Make your pick or roast me live on StreakChat when the 120 Philly strikeouts start serenading Luzardo in the second inning.